Hey ya'll lovelies! I just celebrated my 20th birthday yesterday and so it came across my mind that I should blog about how I feel right now.
Being confident wasn't in my dictionary back then. I was insecure about my body and face because I have big thighs, eye bags and a big forehead. It all happened during my teenage years and that explains the fact why it wasn't my most favorable memories. I didn't had much friends back then too. I'm not trying to say that I don't appreciate the few friends that I have back then but I was so shy to the extent that being in crowded places was never an option for me. Going out? Don't even mention about it back then. I'd rather just stay home and watch drama or anime that I could find on YouTube or just watch food channels on TV.
Things changed during the end of 2016 I guess. My longest best friend, Jia Ai who was the outgoing woman, dragged me out as often as she could and so I slowly start to appreciate the fun in hanging out in malls and watching movies with friends. As I entered university, I was still a little awkward but I could talk more than usual with people so that's a plus. Boys? hmm. 'Scary' was the word back then (and still is, a little.) haha. But I made new guy friends as I entered university and I can say they are my only guy friends that I know I'm close with HAHA.
ANYWAY, uni changed my life entirely and is still changing with wonders! I finally kind of know how to make friends better from time to time (not bad I would say but still improving). 18 was the age I fell in love with going out with friends, going to cafes and taking MORE improved pictures. It was also the age that my passion for writing grew. Despite the slumps and downs I've been through, I was strong enough to stand up on my knees again with the help of my friends and family. That is why I want to write this post as a 20 year old to remind my future self that I can do anything if I set my mind to and to know that I've really did my best and I can do it even better as long as the passion is still there.
20 is just an age so don't feel pressured by it. You're still young. It's a number to indicate that you've made it this far and you should feel proud of yourself for coming this far. :)
And with that confidence, I hope that you'll enjoy the random and shameless selfie (two of them) I have in this post cause I just felt like sharing it here after a day of my birthday. ;)
Sincerely, Shannon
Turning 20 got me jumbled up on feelings that I can't even describe honestly but if I were to put it into the simplest form it would be mixed feelings. I'm guessing you know how mixed feelings feels right? I feel happy but anxious at the same time (with other feelings that I can't interpret it). Happy because I'm finally going into adulthood life but anxious because I have no idea whether I'm ready to step into adulthood with piles of responsibilities waiting for you at the end of the road.
As I look back into my teenage years, I don't feel nostalgic honestly just because I didn't like my past self who was timid and shy. But I'm thankful for those years of trying to find ways to be the opposite of what I was. I would spend hours searching for personality quizzes from time to time to find out whether have I improved myself and even search for articles on how to be confident and positive back then. Of course, it did worked out a little. Today, I could say that I'm confident enough to face my fears and shyness at some point (not much but better) and I do have to say it's all thanks to those who have helped me.
Being confident wasn't in my dictionary back then. I was insecure about my body and face because I have big thighs, eye bags and a big forehead. It all happened during my teenage years and that explains the fact why it wasn't my most favorable memories. I didn't had much friends back then too. I'm not trying to say that I don't appreciate the few friends that I have back then but I was so shy to the extent that being in crowded places was never an option for me. Going out? Don't even mention about it back then. I'd rather just stay home and watch drama or anime that I could find on YouTube or just watch food channels on TV.
Things changed during the end of 2016 I guess. My longest best friend, Jia Ai who was the outgoing woman, dragged me out as often as she could and so I slowly start to appreciate the fun in hanging out in malls and watching movies with friends. As I entered university, I was still a little awkward but I could talk more than usual with people so that's a plus. Boys? hmm. 'Scary' was the word back then (and still is, a little.) haha. But I made new guy friends as I entered university and I can say they are my only guy friends that I know I'm close with HAHA.
ANYWAY, uni changed my life entirely and is still changing with wonders! I finally kind of know how to make friends better from time to time (not bad I would say but still improving). 18 was the age I fell in love with going out with friends, going to cafes and taking MORE improved pictures. It was also the age that my passion for writing grew. Despite the slumps and downs I've been through, I was strong enough to stand up on my knees again with the help of my friends and family. That is why I want to write this post as a 20 year old to remind my future self that I can do anything if I set my mind to and to know that I've really did my best and I can do it even better as long as the passion is still there.
20 is just an age so don't feel pressured by it. You're still young. It's a number to indicate that you've made it this far and you should feel proud of yourself for coming this far. :)
Sincerely, Shannon
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