"my mind's a mess; but i'm trying regardless"
- Tumblr -
Hey y'all! it's been awhile since I've last blogged. I do apologize for my sudden disappearance BUT I'm 'kinda' back(?) haha I'm still figuring things out now so I won't be blogging as much as I have done so in the past.
It's been a roller-coaster ride in the past few months for me honestly. Everyday I wake up thinking what I should do with my future, what do I truly like doing and want to make them as my future 'job'. It's been on my mind too much that it has sometimes taken over my sanity honestly especially when I personally fully know that I only have two more semesters to go through till I finish Degree and step out the working world pretending that I'm ready to face them but I'm actually not at all.
I remember I blogged something like this when I finished Diploma too. However, that feeling and emotions I carry while writing that compared to this is so much different than what I expected. This time, I could say it's serious, more in-depth, more crazy and anxiousness filling in my mind and heart having to cause my heart to not know what I really want in life.
There are people who told me to never give up on my 'flying' dream job, some told me I can continue to write whatever I like, some even suggested I should try out modeling. Well, it all sounds nice and encouraging but I'm still unsure of what I am capable of to be very honest. I find it decently fun in all things I do but I'm indecisive and unsure of whether should I take it to another level with my current capabilities.
You might be wondering why blog about this? Well, I'm pretty sure there are some out there who are like me, it might be of little but I'm sure there are some. I'm just writing it here to share to people that it is normal to feel this way even if you're at your wits-end. I'm still feeling 'lost' about this; adding up my lack of confidence and self-consciousness in me that I can say it brings me down sometimes. BUT of course, no matter how lost I feel, I want to believe that God is there to help me in its' own possible ways; whether it's in big or little.
Well, there aren't any solutions to help y'all and myself to figure this out now but let's just believe that it'll smooth its way out eventually as we keep on doing what we find fun and willing. That's all! :)
xoxo
Sincerely, Shannon
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