What’s Next?

On the April of 11th, I’ve finished my finals and technically; it’s the last day of diploma life too. To be honest, I don’t really know about my coursemates but I feel like there’s so many more other things I wanted to do together still. But sadly, I wasn’t able to do it and literally low key wants to reverse back to the day to the very first time I talked to them; it was the fondest memory of all in my life and I’m already missing it so much.

A group photo taken on our final day together as Diploma of Hotel Management students! :)

But anyway, reality is a reality so what’s next after Diploma? I know there are friends who already registered to continue with Degree, friends who already got a permanent job at some 5-Star hotels, friends who got the job of their dreams, some who decided to start another course but for me; I’m still kinda lost and yeah I’m truthfully disappointed at myself at times for not having to think about what I truly wanted since young unlike those who had already set their childhood dreams as goals. I feel happy for those who were so certain about themselves and decided their next path so fast and I envy them too somehow but that doesn’t comes up with a conclusion with what’s my next path gonna be at all.

I feel scared, lost and confused as I keep on thinking what am I gonna do with myself and it’s not like I’m gonna be unemployed forever too because that’s surely not what I want AT ALL; it’s depressing. But on my defense, I’ve tried my best already; from going to 3 Singapore Airlines Interviews and 1 Air Asia Interview and even trying to make my blog a business which I don’t even know why it’s not working out right for me. And yes, I failed all of them but it doesn’t really upsets me. Instead, it scares me most of the time; these feelings of fear fears me, depresses me, confused me. "Why am I failing so many times?" "Why isn’t it working out right for me?" "I started early in preparation and I still get nothing out from it." "Will I ever get to my dreams soon?" These are the questions that lingers around my mind these few months and again, it’s scary.

But having these questions doesn’t make any changes for me and I should not give up right? "Continuing to thrive for what I want, plan more but allow other last minute or not planned events come in too cause sometimes this makes life more fun, workout to get the body I want, think thoroughly what I want, build my confidence, socialize, try harder, pray about it, lift my face up even though I failed 4 airline interviews too" are what I’m supposed to do right? That’s what I convinced myself at least. I think it’s important to love yourself in order to know what you want too somehow and someway. That’s why, despite being envious of others; I convince and encourage myself to think the other way round. I’m still scared but at least I tried my best to reach for my dreams right?

To those who are having the same feeling of fear about what’s next for you because you got lost in the middle of the way of your dream; believe in yourself cause you’re still worth it like how a gem is worth it’s shine too and it’s not the end of the world. You may start later than others but it’s better than not starting at all and that’s okay cause the starting point isn’t what’s important; the ending, outcome and result is what’s important. Well, there may be times where we fail more than those who never failed but got their success in just a blink of an eye; but it’s alright and just comfort yourself! Comfort yourself that you knew what hard work is like and what it feels like to win after so many terrible trails cause I bet that it will definitely be a different feeling despite the same success achieved.

In conclusion, don’t think what’s next but just go with the flow cause planned steps are not really necessarily the assurance towards your success; expect the unexpected is all you need to know. ;)

P.S. here are some more pictures of my friends just because I’m already missing these cute bunch :)